Shortly after settling into a new home with their infant son, Ema discovered that her fiancé had been cheating on her with another woman. “He chose to walk out on our family to be with her, and I had to decide whether to stay there and try to heal in the place where I was traumatized, or take my son and go somewhere to start over,” Ema explains.
She opted for the latter. Two of her sisters, who live in Colorado, offered help and a place to stay, so Ema sold everything but the bare necessities and moved with her baby boy from North Carolina to Colorado in 2023. First, she stayed with her sister in Lyons, but had trouble finding a job in the area, so she moved again to live with her sister in Louisville.
Success! She was able to find work at a daycare center where she could also bring her son. While she enjoyed the daycare, she soon realized she couldn’t make ends meet on $15 per hour, plus $500 in child support per month, so she started looking for another job. She found one as a receptionist and scheduler at a dermatology office in Boulder. By this time, her son had shown some developmental delays and required therapy several days a week. Ema was thrilled that the new job provided the flexibility she needed to take her son to these appointments and to care for him as a single parent.
After living with family for over six months, Ema felt ready to get a place of her own. Based on her income, she qualified for an affordable housing unit in Boulder County. The two-bedroom was a bit steep at $1,750, so she moved into a one-bedroom unit at $1,540 instead. She also received Colorado’s Childcare Assistance Program (CCAP) to help pay for her son’s daycare while she worked. Despite using these resources, finding a better paying job, and scouring “Buy Nothing” Facebook groups to avoid any unnecessary purchases, money was still tight, so Ema started pet sitting on the side.
They were living paycheck to paycheck, but they were making it—until one month when an incorrect bank debit and car repairs amounted to over $1,000. The daycare had mistakenly debited $445 for her son’s child care, and her car needed $600 in repairs. The bank transaction couldn’t be reversed. Ema had to wait six weeks to get reimbursed by check. And she needed her car to get to work. And rent was coming due.
Her sister in Louisville suggested reaching out to Sister Carmen Community Center (SCCC) to see if we could help. One-time rent assistance funds had been exhausted for the month Ema called, but she was told about another program, Cultivating Stability, that could help her build a more stable financial future for her family. She immediately signed up. In the meantime, Ema’s mother withdrew funds from her retirement account to cover Ema’s rent, which she would have to pay back.
Soon after, Ema met with Lauren, an SCCC Advocate, to discuss resources available to her, her financial goals, and how Sister Carmen could help her achieve them. SCCC would cover Ema’s rent for three months to allow her to pay back her mother, consolidate and pay down her debt, and save some money. “It allowed me to get myself into a better financial position to where I won’t ever have to ask for rent assistance again,” she says.
During this time, Ema’s father became very ill and moved to Colorado, where his daughters could help care for him. Ema used Family Medical Leave Insurance (FAMLI), which provided 60 percent of her normal pay, to spend time with him before he passed. “I’m grateful I didn’t have to worry about money while I was taking care of my dad,” Ema shares.
While she had accessed a lot of local resources on her own before meeting with Lauren, Ema was happy to learn that she could use our food bank and see a Clinica Health & Wellness mental health therapist in our building. Now that she’s in better financial shape and no longer in survival mode, Ema feels she can take the time to improve her mental well-being. “It’s been nice to talk with Leslie about things I’m still struggling with mentally and the trauma I experienced that I’ve never fully addressed because I felt I couldn’t until I got my life together.”
Being more relaxed about her finances has also helped Ema become a better parent to her son, now four years old. “I can focus more on him instead of worrying in the back of my mind about rent, or food, or whatever,” she says. “I want him to grow up without feeling my stress from not being financially secure. I want to provide him with a life where he feels loved and knows he’s the most important thing in my life.”
She’s excited about their future now, but says it was hard to ask for help. “It was humbling. I didn’t want to admit I couldn’t do it on my own. I felt really alone a lot of the time even though I pretended to have it all together. I’m really grateful to have found programs like this and people like Lauren and Leslie, because I would never have been able to do it completely on my own. Now I know there’s nothing wrong with asking for help and seeking out resources. It doesn’t make you any less of a parent. It actually makes you a better parent because you’re advocating for your child and for your life.”